why my whining is okay (or helping the helpers parte deux)

so, here's the deal. i'm supposed to be helping these people think through the ways in which structural racism manifests itself in education and the specific ways in which we might begin to remediate its affects. now, these fools* wanna put on a skit ala hot tub time machine (or ghosts of christmas past) where a child is brought by the guidance counseler through time.

now, there were two women there. whining. really complaining. "just tell me what to do and i'll do it but i wanna go. get a drink. ::smirk::" Now, being the helpful person that I am I suggest that she come up with a written narrative of sorts to begin the process of moving the skit from rough idea to more finalized product. she looks incredulous. "that's not my thing." now, i'm confused - what's not your thing? this conference? working? moving projects forward?

so I reply, "well if you don't want to participate in this way" before I'm cut off with her angry words, "when did I say that? I would never say that. I want to participate, I'm here aren't I?" Well no, participation requires a bit more than just showing up. It requires... uh, participation.  but, I try to remember I'm on company time, so I reply "I didn't say you didn't want to participate at all, I was going to suggest that if you don't want to participate in this way then there are other things you can do." not surprisingly, i got completely ignored. I think she might have looked at me and then picked up her phone. hah. makes me wanna tackle her.

anyways, the two points i want to make with this narrative are these: 1) my whining is okay and her's is not and 2) showing up is not enough and 3) I wanna tackle her.




I probably complain and whine more than anyone else I know. it only becomes more acute the better I know you. Most definitely maybe not one of my more attractive traits, but hey can I blame it on the Korean girl within me? no? anyways the point is, my complaints are 99.99% of the time followed by action, or at the very least an action game plan. so, my whining is okay because I actively takes step to fix the situation that caused said whining. now, this woman (working in a social justice organization that defines itself as such) thinks it's okay to whine and do absolutely nothing to fix the issues. even when presented with someone to assist her in coming to a solution to her issues, she resists. now, what angers me about this particular woman is that she is an a position of power, in a position where her choices have direct outcomes on lives of poor children of color. a woman who is unwilling to collaborate, problem solve or learn new theories.  a woman whose first instinct is one of entitlement - "let all of these colored people figure out the details of the group project, just tell me what to do." a woman whose only contribution to the discussion is that she'll play the white privileged woman "standing around smiling" yes, we already know that. in fact, you're doing pretty well. just turn that scowl into a smile, missus. i just don't understand how people can complain and complain - yet don't do shit to fix their unhappiness. because complaining, per se, won't bother me; it's the lack of followthrough that i find so utterly discouraging. I thought it was part of "american ingenuity" to try and fix everything! hah!

it makes me wonder whether this is the same way in which she approaches her job - I show up, isn't that enough? And no, when will people learn that although "showing up" is somewhat political, it's not nearly enough, especially in the face of hundreds of years of oppression. I'm not asking for a witness. I"m asking for a worker. This entitlement project extends much further out. Think about people who think their mere presense is enough for everyone else. People need to organize and become political again. get angry! get really angry! and do something about it, while, novel idea, ignoring the politics of political correctness. I can't help but make connections to the past. this white woman seems to think being there - showing up and being a witness - coupled with her whiteness makes her a valuable asset to the company. a thread running through the organization is the perceived need of whites to represent it in order to "secure funding." her actions seem to imply that by her showing up, and "naturally" being more credible by non-whites she ensures the running of the organization. thus, she can properly save the organization from itself. in so many arenas, "showing up" isn't enough - "showing up" is not giving you a world series win, fixing your relationships or giving you an 'A' in class. So, why would anyone think that just being somewhere is enough in other arenas? and why take a low paying job that may or may not get funded if you don't believe in the work.

so basically, i don't like people who complain about their situation whilst making choices that maintain that situation and people who think that "showing up" is enough.

*fools is the best sense possible. like most of this group. but c'mon, hot tub time machine? there is never a time nor a place to have a serious conversation including crude drawings of bathtubs with the words "hot tub time machine" written next to it.