in belated honor of national coming out day and in celebration of the federal judge who today made "don't ask don't tell" illegal, a subject on sexuality. so, this blog post was supposed to be about the objectification gay men by straight women codified as "he's my gay best friend!" it's something that's irked me for a while. it seems that no matter how many friends a girl might have, their arsenal isn't complete until one of them is gay (and male - no lesbians allowed!). and he can't just be your gay friend, but he needs to be your best friend. it's an oversimplification and stereotypical way of viewing gay men. the gay best friend is supposed to be basically what your friends are: catty, into clothes, into boys and validating.
but i say supposed to because when i was researching some information for the post, i ran into this post on Salon from a couple of months ago called, "gay best-friend: the 'it' accessory" needless to say, i was dissappointed. it's an interesting read; i like how she describes the gay best friend "as that new knight in shining armor: the mystical, magical gay boy who'll always have your back" -- it's remiscent as the "magical negro" (google search spike lee magical negro if you don't get that one).
the only thing i would add is that many gay men are complicit in this objectification. they act out the stereotype to adhere to the idealized "gay best friend." i'm not going so far as to say that gay men like to be stereotyped, but i am saying that it is highly problematic that they choose to play into this role. speaking to one of my gay male friends, he acknowledged the role that many gay men play and said it was theatrical and truly acting - a sort of turning on for a specific audience. this, however, does nothing to help the community in fostering images that combat the (idealized?) simplified stereotype of what it means to be gay. not cool, guys.
thoughts/comments?
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